The world of Magic: the Gathering is a strange one. Over the past few years, I have become increasingly interested in the flavor behind the paper. I’ve really taken a shine to how consistently good the development of the worlds are, how intuitively the design of cards syncs up with the flavor, and how fleshed out the characters and events of each storyline are. Following the progression of story from one arc to the next, you get seamless transitions and excellent continuity. Something I noticed as I delved deeper, or shallower, depending on how you look at it, was that the further you zoom out, the less the continuity holds together.
The storylines never falter. Things have a logical progression that build off of the work of previous storytellers. Effect always follows the cause, and it all ends up making sense. The inconsistencies within the game are only really ever seen when you take into account that it is a game, not just a world, and that game has rules. Within the rules of Magic, some very strange things can occur.
One of my favorite examples of this is equipment. As far as the translation of rules to flavor, equipment is very well done. It provides a bonus to any creature wielding it that presumable comes directly from the strength of the equipment and any special properties it possesses. Take Umezawa’s Jitte as an example. In the stories, Toshiro Umezawa would dip it blood to write the kanji that fueled his magic. This is elegantly depicted on the card by using damage caused by its bearer to charge it up, allowing a number of different effects. This is an example of flavor success. Equipping it to a Wall of Bone is an example of flavor failure. You can certainly do it within the rules, but try thinking of what it means in flavor terms. Do you just find some nice little cranny in which you can wedge it and hope that someone just stumbles into it? What about equipping it to a Darksteel Colossus? How the hell does something that large hold onto a Jitte, let alone use it effectively. Do you just weld it to its shin and let it go romping around?
There are some other fun little inconsistencies with equipment. Why can Taj-Nar Swordsmith make a Shield of Kaldra? How do you Unforge a Blinding Powder? Is it iron filings or something? How many masks can a creature wear? Can you put a Mask of Memory and Mask of Riddles on the same creature (other than Two-Headed Giant of Foriys)? Can you put either of them onto Faceless Butcher? These are the questions that keep me up an night.
There are more mechanically correct situations that arise in Magic that just grate against my common sense. How the hell does a Rolling Earthquake hit fliers? And don’t try telling me that it’s because fliers didn’t exist in Portal: Three Kingdoms; that doesn’t make it make sense to me. How do snakes like Ophidian, Lotus Cobra, and River Boa come to be enchanted with Fists of Ironwood or get slowed down by Leaden Fists? I mean, I understand it if they have a couple Extra Arms, but otherwise it’s ridiculous! C an creatures with islandwalk get through if your opponent has an Island of Wak-Wak in play? Can creatures that can swim cross a Moat? Speaking of sea creatures, how does a Man-o-War even function in a land-based arena? How do you bring a Krosan Cloudscraper to Show and Tell?
You’ll never guess what I brought!
Wanna bet?
Another thing that always piques my fancy is the oxymoronic things that can happen when cards names don’t sync up. How can a creature with Pacifism become Enraged? Can you Putrefy a Putrid Leech? Can a Hill Giant have Giant Strength, or is it just regular old strength for them? Obviously a Glory Seeker has to answer a Call to Glory, but can Glory just screen it? Why can’t you Extinguish a Demonfire or Banefire? Puzzles…
I also have become a really big fan of the naming conventions of classes of spells within Magic. Take counter-magic as an example. You can simply Counterspell something, but that could get Forbidden, Negated, Annulled, Absorbed, Cancelled, Delayed, Dismissed, Disrupted, Enveloped, Extinguished, Hindered, Liquefied, Prohibited, Nixed, Overridden, Overruled, Quashed, Thwarted, or even Denied! I don’t want to Complicate things or Undermine your attempt to Assert Authority. I really hope you don’t think I’m bringing this up out of Spite in an attempt to Gainsay you or show off my Overwhelming Intellect in an attempt to be Condescending. I’m just looking out for your best interests. So please don’t have Broken Ambitions, give me a Jaded Response, or take Evasive Action. Not to Deprive you of your Guttural Response, I just think those actions would be a Dismal Failure. This wasn’t an attempt to Induce Paranoia, though I understand your Defiance. Consider this a Preemptive Strike, an Intervention of sorts. I’m just trying to Lay things Bare here, no Trickery or Ruses. To prove I’m not trying to Desert you, I’ll even let you have the Last Word.
If you’ve managed to make it this far through my article, I’d like to congratulate you! Apparently you are either able to take a real tongue-in-cheek approach to these little inconsistencies in Magic like I have, you haven’t ever really thought about this stuff but found it interesting enough to continue, or you’re bored out of you mind and have nothing else to do. Regardless, I have something to share with you that I think will appeal to all of you.
It’s called Kangaroo Court, and court is in session.
Kangaroo Court is a Magic variant that takes into account the fact that there are a lot of things that can happen within the rules that just don’t really make a whole lot of common sense. The rules are simple: if you can argue that something would make sense under the flavor of the game, it can. Are you upset that Whippoorwill doesn’t fly (WHO ISN’T!?), if you can make the case that it’s a bird so it flies to the game’s arbiter, congratulations, your Whippoorwill now flies, regardless of what the card says. Are you sad that your opponent used a Resurrection to bring back a Wall of Stone (which technically gets destroyed, not dies), argue your case.
For each game, all you need is any number of people willing to play, decks, and one person not playing to act as the arbiter. Play continues as normal, but at any time, any player may contest the rules or game state if there is a flavorful reason for the rules to be bent or broken. The arbiter hears out all arguments and the makes a verdict. At that point, all arguments are over and the ruling stands. Beyond that, there isn’t anything special.
The cool thing about this format is that it allows people to stretch their creative boundaries, both in terms of flavor and deckbuilding. How about a Zombie-themed deck that has a reanimation subtheme? As far as I’m concerned, though it doesn’t say it expressly on the card, Zombify brings the creature back as a Zombie. Hell, almost all of the black reanimation spells do. If you build your deck around that belief, and are able to argue it well, it can be pretty powerful. The normal avenues of thinking are stretched and skewed, leading to some very out-of-the-box thinking, which I always love.
I think the best thing about this style of play is that it’s incredibly fun for everyone involved, not just the players. Take it from a pro, as fun as watching Magic is, there is something frustrating about not being able to play or take part in a game that is going on right in front of you. This lets everyone in on the fun. If you start playing and a few other people wander over and start watching, you can invite them to join the arbiter pool and actually have some interaction with the game. The more involved a person is, the more fun they have, and everyone gets a turn in the Kangaroo Court.
Well guys, I hope you’ve enjoyed this little twist on Magic the past few articles. I know it’s not exactly what you’re used to in terms of Magic articles. I’ve always been more of an entertainer than an informer, and all I could hope to do was provide you a little entertainment.
For those of you that suffered through the past two stories, I have a little treat for you. MTGOAcademy.com has agreed to offer up a little prize support for a game I’ve been setting up. The past two weeks, in case you didn’t figure it out, were a stylized representation of a game of Magic I played a couple of weeks ago. I tried my hardest to give good, yet not overtly obvious clues as to every card played in the game. The first person to correctly identify all of the cards played in the game will win either a paper Shards of Alara foil booster (only for players within the US) or a digital store coupon for 6 tickets. All you have to do is send the list of cards that you think my opponent and I used in our duel to academyobservor@gmail.com. The winner will be announced in a couple of weeks, so good luck to you all. For all that missed part 1 or part 2 just click the links to find them. Thanks for reading and remember, if it doesn’t make sense, make it make sense.
Nate Price
Another good article, I loved the counterspell paragraph, for some reason I thought it hilarious.
Though the competition is no small task! Im not even going to try but good luck to whoever can figure out which cards are in and out of the deck!
trying saying the list of counterspells 5x very fast
hilarious article, though the kangaroo court way of playing seems like it would get really annoying as everything could be argued.
@SaiDes: Thanks a bunch! I love writing about stuff like this, though I’m probably back to more traditional fare with the upcoming month of tournaments I’m covering. Good luck on the contest!
@Aznsilly: You should definitely try it sometime. Considerably less things can be argued than you might originally think, and most of the fun comes from seeing who can be the most creative with their arguments. It also helps if all of the players accept that the arbiter has the last word and not to be bad sports if they lose an argument (which might be the tough part).